This is me.Welcome and thank you for taking the time out of your day to visit my blog. My name is Melissa Pizirusso and I am a full time working mom and elementary school teacher. As working moms and dads, the struggle to find quality time with our kids, as well as raise well rounded ones can sometimes upset even the happiest of households. I am on a mission to make sure that my family, as well as all of yours, take the time to disconnect to reconnect.
Life in beTween is about my journey in raising healthy, happy children, students, and athletes that are approaching their tween years. From travel sports to multiple tests per week, we are the busy family you may relate to. I hope you enjoy the journey. Feel free to laugh with and at me, celebrate our milestones and maybe sometimes even shed a tear. We are all in this parenting thing together, so let's get on with it! |
11/3/17 It has taken me a few weeks to sit down and write this blog. I usually am not at a loss for words, as to which most of my friends will attest. But up until now, I have not been able to find the words to describe how one truly feels when they watch their child get hurt.
My son suffered a concussion a few weeks ago during his hockey game. He got off the ice and I could see a difference in his eyes. He insisted he was alright, but I knew better. I’m his mom. Two weeks and two diagnoses later, we are dealing with the aftermath of head trauma. The first few days were a silent denial for all of us, in which he couldn’t remember what had happened to him. He sat to look at homework and could not calculate numbers, pulling at his face in frustration that a subject in which he usually dominates, was overpowering him. He was jittery at times, had consistent headaches, and would sleep for hours. He spoke less, reacted less and simply was not Anthony. He did not ask to play video games, which for my ten-year-old, is an anomaly. Where did my son go? He was in there, and I knew it would take time, but to watch a young child go through something like that was not only painful for him, but for all of us. Mommy guilt kicked in about eight seconds after he took the hit- the guilt of putting him in a sport where he could get hurt, and putting him in a situation that may have consequences for him later in life. My guilt was overwhelming when the doctor said his eye movement had been affected. What had I done? Once I got past the initial guilt, my first instinct as a teacher was to make this a learning experience. My goal was to get Anthony to understand that with any sport, the player has a responsibility to not only themselves and their team and coaches, but to their opponent as well. They have the responsibility of cognizance, awareness and consequence. For my son, who spends some quality time in the penalty box, I wanted him to understand that this time it was his head and this concussion was his to endure, but next time it could be a teammate or an opponent and that the penalty box, while it is a punishment, should be an awakening that the behavior on the ice was unacceptable- and can lead to injury. As days pass, and he is on the mend, I am immensely grateful that his injury will, in time, subside. In those first few days, I questioned my choices about putting him into this sport. But, I know now that the answers were all around us. He is surrounded by coaches that teach him how to be a good person, as their quick actions and positive words kept my son calm in a horrible moment…he is surrounded by amazing parents that have called and texted wishing him back to good health. But most of all, my son is growing up with boys that are all role models for each other. And we could not be luckier to have found this hockey family. So, really, what have I done? Hopefully, I have made my son learn a valuable lesson through stringent talks while he has a concussion. Just kidding. Hopefully, I have done a good job surrounding him with good people in a sport that he loves. During the past few years, I have had the opportunity to meet an amazing amount of people, not only through my own life’s journey, but through that of my kids. Hockey has led me to meet some of the best people I could ever ask to have around me. Friendships have flourished for not only myself, but for my kids, and I have learned many life lessons along the way. That sounds cliché, I am well aware, but the facts of friendship simply lie in the moments that catch you unexpectedly and how those around you rally to your support. In the months to come, and after he has completely healed, I cannot wait to see my son back on the ice, with some hard life lessons well learned, and surrounded by people that not only cheer him on, but truly care for his well being. Thanks for reading! Until next time, Melissa :) "On the Go"series
"On the go" series
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As seen on "Mommybites" link: http://mommybites.com/col1/baby/winning-really-medal/
Winning: Is it really all about the Medal?
November 29, 2016
Checking out the social media pages over this past holiday weekend, I was so impressed and happy to see how successful my friends children are at the sports they play. Whether it be basketball tournaments, soccer, roller hockey or ice hockey, these kids are all superstars.
So many of them wore medals around their necks, made it to playoffs and showed off the coolest trophies that were bigger than some of the kids who had won them! We are raising amazing kids, and that’s not easy.
On our way home from my son’s hockey tournament in Massachusetts on the Sunday night after Thanksgiving, I spent a little time texting and posting congratulations to friends on their kids accomplishments. When I finally put the phone down, I looked back and saw Anthony staring out the window. He was not playing on his iPad or listening to his iPod, and unbelievably enough he had no interest in teasing his sister who sat just two feet away.
I felt it coming and knew what was happening. Just as I asked him what was going on in his brain at the moment, he looked over at me and said, “We lost.” He looked back out the window and just stared.
For a minute I wanted to remind him of all of the accomplishments he has achieved over the past year, like any mom would do at that moment. I wanted to tell him how great his dad and I think he is, not just as an athlete, but as a person. My heart lurched back and forth and I could see my husband peek over at me. He gave me a few looks like-should I take this or do you want to dive in?
And of course, anyone that knows me, knows I like to over analyze everything and I had plenty of hours to devote to it while we sat on a highway in stopped traffic.
Winning isn’t everything. It’s cliché, I know. But to a nine year old, it kind of is. So I took a step back and told him that winning is not just goals and a medal.
One of Anthony’s teammates, who is a bit smaller than the other kids, got knocked against the boards pretty badly and laid on the ice without moving. We all stood at the glass silently, as we watched his teammates pick him up and skate him back to the bench. That, I explained to him, is winning.
Showing up to cheer on your team when you are sick as a dog and told by the doctors that you absolutely cannot play is winning.
Standing up for a boy on your team that gets picked on is winning.
Playing an entire game with a tooth hanging out of your mouth because someone checked you in the head and not complaining for a single second is winning.
Being a team player is winning.
Running with a stitch in your side and crossing the finish line a minute later than you wanted to is still winning.
And accepting defeat is winning, even though it may sting a little.
Winning is continuous. It should never be frozen in time. It should be something that is practiced, nurtured and eventually learned. It should never be something you stop aiming for.
Winning, my son, is taking this conversation and making it your own. So the next time you don’t get the medal or the trophy, remind yourself that winning is a quest, not a destination. And the medals and trophies will come.
And you will celebrate again.
And, yes, mommy will post your big grin.
See you soon!
- Melissa
November 29, 2016
Checking out the social media pages over this past holiday weekend, I was so impressed and happy to see how successful my friends children are at the sports they play. Whether it be basketball tournaments, soccer, roller hockey or ice hockey, these kids are all superstars.
So many of them wore medals around their necks, made it to playoffs and showed off the coolest trophies that were bigger than some of the kids who had won them! We are raising amazing kids, and that’s not easy.
On our way home from my son’s hockey tournament in Massachusetts on the Sunday night after Thanksgiving, I spent a little time texting and posting congratulations to friends on their kids accomplishments. When I finally put the phone down, I looked back and saw Anthony staring out the window. He was not playing on his iPad or listening to his iPod, and unbelievably enough he had no interest in teasing his sister who sat just two feet away.
I felt it coming and knew what was happening. Just as I asked him what was going on in his brain at the moment, he looked over at me and said, “We lost.” He looked back out the window and just stared.
For a minute I wanted to remind him of all of the accomplishments he has achieved over the past year, like any mom would do at that moment. I wanted to tell him how great his dad and I think he is, not just as an athlete, but as a person. My heart lurched back and forth and I could see my husband peek over at me. He gave me a few looks like-should I take this or do you want to dive in?
And of course, anyone that knows me, knows I like to over analyze everything and I had plenty of hours to devote to it while we sat on a highway in stopped traffic.
Winning isn’t everything. It’s cliché, I know. But to a nine year old, it kind of is. So I took a step back and told him that winning is not just goals and a medal.
One of Anthony’s teammates, who is a bit smaller than the other kids, got knocked against the boards pretty badly and laid on the ice without moving. We all stood at the glass silently, as we watched his teammates pick him up and skate him back to the bench. That, I explained to him, is winning.
Showing up to cheer on your team when you are sick as a dog and told by the doctors that you absolutely cannot play is winning.
Standing up for a boy on your team that gets picked on is winning.
Playing an entire game with a tooth hanging out of your mouth because someone checked you in the head and not complaining for a single second is winning.
Being a team player is winning.
Running with a stitch in your side and crossing the finish line a minute later than you wanted to is still winning.
And accepting defeat is winning, even though it may sting a little.
Winning is continuous. It should never be frozen in time. It should be something that is practiced, nurtured and eventually learned. It should never be something you stop aiming for.
Winning, my son, is taking this conversation and making it your own. So the next time you don’t get the medal or the trophy, remind yourself that winning is a quest, not a destination. And the medals and trophies will come.
And you will celebrate again.
And, yes, mommy will post your big grin.
See you soon!
- Melissa
Time to Wake Up!
FROM "MOMMYBITES" http://mommybites.com/col2/big-kid/time-wake-overwork-kids/
November 11, 2016
It is 8 o' clock in the evening on a Tuesday. A time when many people are putting their children to bed, preparing for the next work day. Homework is packed in bookbags, the children are reading a novel in their beds, awaiting lights out time, having already showered and bathed. Lunch for the next day sits in the refrigerator, nice and packed. Parents are watching some form of television and relaxing.
And then there is my house. My fourth grader smells so bad from hockey stink that I can not even go near him as he finishes the last of his endless homework. He still has two tests to study for, has to eat some form of dinner, and MUST shower. My sixth grader is working on projects and tests that I have lost count of because I need to check eight different teacher websites to figure out what is happening in the world of sixth grade.
My husband has taken the reigns over one child as I help the other AND get some form of dinner on the table, because we all just got home from our day of work, school and sports practice.
Bedtime will near 9:30, which, in my mind, is WAY TOO LATE.
The kids are cranky, I have had just about enough, and my husband is losing patience trying to show why the number seven can be made 8 million different ways according to the "new math". By the time my head hits the pillow I am so exhausted I don't even remember to call anyone back that have called me in the past week.
I find solace in the fact that, on those rare occasions that I get to speak to some of my friends, they are going through the same things I am. Their children are also loaded down with homework and tests, play travel sports and everyone is utterly exhausted. We share out about how when we were kids, we don't really remember after school chaos. We came home, played outside, did our homework, ate dinner somewhere near 5:30 or 6:00 and then spent our evenings relaxing. So what happened here? Today travel sports have become so common that the routine of the household has changed. DRAMATICALLY.
I posted a photo on social media the other day of my kids fast asleep in the back of my car at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. We were on our way to hockey practice.
And then there is my house. My fourth grader smells so bad from hockey stink that I can not even go near him as he finishes the last of his endless homework. He still has two tests to study for, has to eat some form of dinner, and MUST shower. My sixth grader is working on projects and tests that I have lost count of because I need to check eight different teacher websites to figure out what is happening in the world of sixth grade.
My husband has taken the reigns over one child as I help the other AND get some form of dinner on the table, because we all just got home from our day of work, school and sports practice.
Bedtime will near 9:30, which, in my mind, is WAY TOO LATE.
The kids are cranky, I have had just about enough, and my husband is losing patience trying to show why the number seven can be made 8 million different ways according to the "new math". By the time my head hits the pillow I am so exhausted I don't even remember to call anyone back that have called me in the past week.
I find solace in the fact that, on those rare occasions that I get to speak to some of my friends, they are going through the same things I am. Their children are also loaded down with homework and tests, play travel sports and everyone is utterly exhausted. We share out about how when we were kids, we don't really remember after school chaos. We came home, played outside, did our homework, ate dinner somewhere near 5:30 or 6:00 and then spent our evenings relaxing. So what happened here? Today travel sports have become so common that the routine of the household has changed. DRAMATICALLY.
I posted a photo on social media the other day of my kids fast asleep in the back of my car at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. We were on our way to hockey practice.
There were some comments of "haha" and "wow". But, one comment caught my attention. "Is this a sign that we overwork our kids?" I replied simply, "Yes."
That comment resonated with me. So much, in fact, that I went home after practice and thought about it all night.
Change was needed, and fast. Dinner had become an on-the-run event and the last thing I thought of. School was becoming secondary and - oh my- I am an educator. How contradictory. Family life was becoming based on hockey rinks in different parts of the northeast and different tracks across Staten Island. At least we were together.
Sometimes it just takes someone else to make us realize we need to take a step back and re-evaluate. And because it was coming from someone that sits right next to me most nights freezing her patooty off at the rink, I knew she was probably thinking the same things I was.
Is it all worth it?
I have no idea. But as long as my children enjoy their sports lives, and I can maintain some sanity, hopefully, we will be okay with the chaos. However, it made me more aware of the fact that I need to make better nutritional choices for my family, find ways to help my children keep their grades where they belong, not where we settle for them to be, and raise well rounded children that will remember love and happiness with some chaos in between. So, stay tuned, because I am a mom on a mission to create organized chaos and raise happy, healthy, non smelly, athletic geniuses! Oh a mom can dream!
See you soon!
-Melissa
That comment resonated with me. So much, in fact, that I went home after practice and thought about it all night.
Change was needed, and fast. Dinner had become an on-the-run event and the last thing I thought of. School was becoming secondary and - oh my- I am an educator. How contradictory. Family life was becoming based on hockey rinks in different parts of the northeast and different tracks across Staten Island. At least we were together.
Sometimes it just takes someone else to make us realize we need to take a step back and re-evaluate. And because it was coming from someone that sits right next to me most nights freezing her patooty off at the rink, I knew she was probably thinking the same things I was.
Is it all worth it?
I have no idea. But as long as my children enjoy their sports lives, and I can maintain some sanity, hopefully, we will be okay with the chaos. However, it made me more aware of the fact that I need to make better nutritional choices for my family, find ways to help my children keep their grades where they belong, not where we settle for them to be, and raise well rounded children that will remember love and happiness with some chaos in between. So, stay tuned, because I am a mom on a mission to create organized chaos and raise happy, healthy, non smelly, athletic geniuses! Oh a mom can dream!
See you soon!
-Melissa
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